Galatians 2:20 is one of the verses that won't leave me alone, that keeps coming back to haunt me, especially the first half. It says this: "
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." This reminds me of some things Jesus said. "Take up your cross and follow me." "Whoever loves his life loses it, but whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." "Many who are last will be first."
This concept of "dying to myself" is a recurring theme for me, and it's something that I'm always coming back to, always seeing ways in which I haven't yet died to myself. Something has happened recently that has really pushed me further along that path, and it happened through two authors. Both of these guys are taking a good hard look at the Bible and asking themselves "Do we (Christians) really get what this book is saying to us? Really get it?" Their conclusion is that we aren't, and so they've written some books in which they are trying to recapture the message of the Bible.
The first guy is N.T. Wright, who is an absolutely brilliant New Testament scholar. I recently finished reading his book, Surprised by Hope, in which he takes a look at the Gospel from the perspective of the Jews and the early Christian church, since those are the people through whom and around which the whole Gospel story played out. Without going into too much detail, what Wright says is that the foundational message of the Gospel is that the Kingdom of God is at hand, and that we are invited to live in that Kingdom now. Jesus Christ really is Lord over all of creation and over all who follow Him - and over all who don't. We are also called to go tell others that the Kingdom is here, and that they too are invited.
The Kingdom of God is a Kingdom of justice, beauty, love, grace, and reconciliation. It's a Kingdom in which we no longer live in sin, and in which death, the result of sin, is undone. When Jesus returns, He will finally and fully usher in that Kingdom. The Kingdom of this world will be destroyed forever, and all of Christ's followers, and all of Creation will be redeemed and fully perfected.
Our hope as Christians is to look forward to that time, when the world of sin has been done away with, and when this creation (including our bodies) will finally be restored and perfected at Christ's return. Until then, however, we've got work to do. Amazingly, that work is in cooperating with God in demonstrating that the Kingdom is Here. Jesus' ministry and bodily resurrection were evidences of the fact that Something Else - a new rule, a new way of things - had crashed into the world of sin and was taking over. Through the power of the Spirit, the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead, our lives too can be evidence that a new Kingdom is in fact here. (Romans 8:11)
The other author is Francis Chan, who's just written a book called Crazy Love. I've only read some reviews of the book, but I've heard him speak in person, and I know what kinds of things he says. What he's saying in the book, and what he preaches in person, is that a real Christian, a real follower if Christ, is someone who loves other people like crazy. That means that you love them - not yourself - first. That means that you give generously to them of your time, your resources, your energy, your heart, and that means sacrifice.
Chan is a pastor at a church, a church which he planted with dreams of becoming huge, of having cool buildings and thousands of people. Chan bought himself a big 3,000 square foot house and was living big, but then one day a missionary from New Guinea challenged him and told him that he had the wrong idea, that the goal is to love more, which means to give more. The Spirit of God spoke to him through that missionary, and so they changed things. Their church (which was pretty large by now) voted that 50% of their budget would be given away, and in real numbers, they've been giving away more like 55%. Chan and his family moved into a 1,000 square foot house, then upgraded to a 1,200 sq ft house when 5 other people moved in with them (for a total of 10 people).
So, to bring this back to the idea about dying to myself... What is finally beginning to sink in a little more deeply for me is the fact that we're not called to live our best life now - not on the world's terms anyway. Too often, we try to convert the message of Jesus or the Bible into a message about material wealth, convenience, and ease, but that just isn't the way it is. With very few exceptions, most of the major players in the Bible, Jesus not least, lived very difficult lives and had very little - and they chose that kind of life. That's because they knew that they were building and living for a different kind of Kingdom, using different kinds of tools. They were looking forward to the time when God Himself would complete the work in which they were participating, a time when sin, hunger, homelessness, sickness, loneliness, depression, famine, earthquakes, pain, even death, would all be undone and destroyed forever. They realized that this was the life they could look forward to, but for now, there was difficult, yet joyful work to be done.
For many of them, doing that work meant having less so they could give more, or earning not so they could be comfortable, but so that others would not go needy. It meant dying to themselves. For me, my struggle has always been convenience and enjoyment. I want to do what I want, when I want, and what I want will be what's most enjoyable. So for me, dying to myself in order to help build the Kingdom, in order to love like crazy, means sacrificing my time in order to give it to others, in order to help people who need help, or in order to be a friend to someone who is lonely. I'm finally getting it, and I'm finally becoming okay with it. I'll live my best life later.
Dying isn't easy. In fact, as we know too well, it's painful. However, the great thing for us is that, after death, there's a resurrection.